A Look Into the Mind of a Convicted Madman
by FuBaR
Summary: The dream Sirius Black has the night before he escapes Azkaban
1. Default Chapter Title

Sirius Black gazed out of his cell. Screams of agony, suffering, and madness were all around him. He was used to this now. The screams never stopped, the crying never stopped. He looked at the man in the cell across from his. He had his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth, and was drooling. Sirius shuddered. He stared at the man for a few more minutes until the man began to bore him. He lay back on his hard bed. He gazed at the ceiling he had been looking at for 12 years. The sight of it also began to bore him, as had the prisoner across from him. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the happy times in his life. He couldn't. He hadn't had a happy time in 12 long years. Then an image flashed across his mind. He opened his eyes and sat up, gazed around wildly. He then reminded himself that he was slowing losing his mind. He tried to get back the image. The image of the beautiful red haired woman. As he tried to regain the image, he drifted off to sleep. He dreamed for the first time in 13 years a dream that wasn't terrifying and made him wake up in a cold sweat. At first he was at Hogwarts. He, James, Remus, Peter and Lily were sitting under a tree. In his sleep, Sirius twitched at the sight of that miserable rat Peter Pettigrew. In his dream, he saw Lily and James snuggling. He and Remus were chasing Peter. Sirius saw himself stop and gaze at the couple under the tree. Jealousy and rage filled him. He squeazed his fist so hard his knuckles cracked. While he had been thinking thoughts of hatred about James, Remus ran into him, knocking him to the ground. "Get the hell off me!!" Sirius screamed, punching Remus and then spitting in his face "Geeze, I was only playing" Remus said, wiping the spit off his face. "You know, life dosen't just involve playing. Why don't you grow up for a change?!" 

"Sirius, are you OK?" it was James Rage filled Sirius. He was so angry. He raised his fist to punch James in his insolent face, but a small hand grabbed his arm. "Sirius, stop!!!" Lily screamed. She was obviously upset. He could see tears forming in her beautiful eyes. "D-don't you hurt him!!" She yelled. She ran to James and hugged him. "Whats the matter old Padfoot?" said Remus "Nothing!! Just, just leave me alone!!" He stalked off toward the castle. 

He then switched places in his dream. He was at a place that looked oddly familiar. It was his old house. He saw himself go and answer the door. Lily ran in, and she was upset, crying. Then he sat Lily down on the couch and started talking to her. "Oh, Sirius!" she cried "It was so awful!!" she then collasped in his arms. She and James had had a fight. She said he had never seen him so angry. She thought James was going to hit her. He hadn't. The awful thing was that the 2 of them were 3 weeks married. She was scared that her marriage was failing, she didn't know what to do. He then heard Lily asking him through her tears if she could stay with him for a while. He said yes. Sirius then remembered this whole episode. Lily had been staying with him for 1 week when they gave into temptation. They spent the night together. (see Author's note on this) Lily left 2 days after that night. She and James made up, but she and Sirius still carried that secret. They swore to eachother that they would never tell a soul. 

3 weeks after Lily had stayed with Sirius, she came to his house. She had news. She was pregnant. 

Authors Note: I apologize for the little bit of graphic detail in this. It wasn't much, just a tiny itsy bitsy bit. (Oh yeah, I apologize for this again in Part 2) Obviously this takes place during the time in "Prisoner of Azkaban" 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Sirius jerked awake. The dream had shocked him. He had forgotten about that event. Feeling calm again, he fell back asleep. His dream took him back to his house, 14 years ago. He saw himself sitting in shocked silence after Lily had told him the news. 

"If it is yours, we can never tell James. Ever." she was saying 

But he wasn't listening. Hundreds of thoughts were going through his mind. He couldn't decide whether to tell James, despite all Lily was telling him. He was also thinking of leaving. Disappearing. James would find out. There was no doubt about it. 

"Sirius, I think it is much more likely that it is really James child. When the baby is born, we will see what it looks like. But for now, just don't say anything to James, all right?" "Huh, all right. I won't tell" In his sleep, Sirius shivered. He was remembering how terrified he was that he was going to be a father. 

The dream moved yet again. Now he was on a street called Gaiety Place. He saw himself standing opposite Peter Pettigrew. "HE BETRAYED LILY AND JAMES POTTER!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!!! THIS MAN IS A TRAITOR!!!!" Pettigrew shouted. 

Then there was an tremondous explosion. Sirius saw himself fall to the ground because of the tremor. When he got to his feet Pettigrew transformed and ran down the sewer. 

Sirius woke up yet again, and now it was morning. The dementors were going to be giving him his food any minute now. He then made a decision. He was going to find Peter Pettigrew at Hogwarts, and kill him. He laughed out loud, for he knew he was going to kill Peter, that scum. Sirius looked down the hall and saw the dementors coming with his tray of food. Sirius thought about how Pettigrew escaped by transforming. That is how he would escape. He would transform. Careful not to alarm the inmates, he pulled the cover over him, so the light he gave when he transformed could not be seen. Within seconds, he was a dog. The dementors finally reached his cell. They unlocked the door. As quickly and quietly as he could, he ran out of the cell. 

Freedom!!! He thought as he ran along the corridors of Azkaban, unrecognizable as the giant black dog. When the inmates saw the dog, most of them started screaming even louder, and some just sat and watched. He reached the prison door, leading to the outside world. He stared at it. He then realized he couldn't open the door. Since he was not human, he could not say a spell to open the door. 

He just stood there and concentrated on the door, and within 2 minutes, the door had edged itself open just enough for him to slip through. 

He stood on a rock, staring at the sea. There was no other land in sight. He didn't know if he was going to make it. 

"I'm going to make it, I'm going to make it" he thought to himself. 

He then took the leap of faith and jumped into the icy water below. 

He surfaced and seconds and began to paddle towards land, towards freedom, toward vengeance. 

Authors Note: It is pretty obvious, but Lilys un-born son turned out to be James son, and the son was Harry Potter. Oh yeah, since we are now not reading anything with sexual content in it (Thank you Katie Bell, yeah right ) I apologize for the small little bit on Sirius and Lily spending the night together. But come on, that wasn't that graphic now was it??? 


End file.
